My friend has been trying to convince me to join a narrative Warhammer 40,000 campaign at Good Games. The guy running it has put in a lot of effort to set up the background, and apparently in the last campaign he went so far as to make secret missions tailored to each army, and award prizes for best theme and background. The stuff he wrote really sucked me in and made me feel as though this would be a fun way to get out of the house every couple of weeks.
Then, I came up against all of the problems with Warhammer that made me stop playing it in the first place. Oh, they say they want you to Forge the Narrative, but what was my idea for the campaign? A radical Ordo Xenos inquisitor who is using an Ork weirdboy to track the artefact that is the campaign’s objective: a frozen piece of the Emperor’s force-lightning, preserved since the Horus Heresy (the weirdboy wants to eat it). There is a nice narrative confusion about who is using who, and I get to use Orks and inquisitors at the same time. All good.
Except that there is a new Inquisition
Codex Dataslate, and now there are no options for radical inquisitors any more. Orks and Chaos (among others) are never allowed to ally with Inquisition units. So much for radical inquisitors of all three major Ordos. I just don’t understand why they bother putting these arbitrary limitations in place. It certainly isn’t for game balance.
Right, so then I re-jig my background to be a human mercenary captain using the weirdboy, and the weirdboy using the mercs. So Imperial Guard with Ork allies, on the Forces of Disorder side of the campaign. Now I can just jump in right, I mean I have an Ork army and a Guard army still unsold, I can do some fun modeling and modify them so that they are now mercenaries, expecially for the campaign. Sounds like about the right amount of hobby I can reasonably expect to get done between games.
But this is 6th edition and my armies were built for 5th and 4th edition, respectively. So now I have to buy – choking on Games Workshop’s prices all the way – some sort of flyer, or a hydra tank, or a freaking fortress with guns on it. Or maybe even more Orks or Guardsmen. Oh god, please not that. And then build it and paint it. And then I sat down to make a list, and it was boring. Apparently I’m still burned out on endlessly tweaking points, and still want to play something that doesn’t have such an emphasis on list-building.
This is not sounding like fun. I mean the campaign will be fun, no doubt. The people are great and the story sounds compelling. But the thought of all the other stuff I have to do just to play in it is turning my stomach.
Warhammer. It has so much potential and it’s just such a . . . disappointment.